Staff picks: Superhero team

Bark Staff

Quick! The world is in duress. Who would you call? Ghostbusters? The Avengers? Nope. The Bark staff decided to create our own superhero teams that could defeat the evil of the world and save the day. Most of the teams don’t have actual superheroes, but that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t be effective and just plain awesome.

I’m not a huge fan of super heroes, so my dream team consists of characters that would be super heroes in another life. First is Emma Swan (Once Upon a Time) because she is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, so she is pretty awesome to begin with. She also has skills in the real world and fairytale world, so her techniques would be useful against the villains. Next is Mulan because, duh, she’s the savior of China, and she is not interested in romance, so I don’t have to worry about her getting distracted by some guy. Speaking of guys, we need one on the team and the guy for the job is the Liam Neeson from Taken, because he single-handedly saves his daughter from the slave trade. Plus, he has a particular set of skills, skills he had acquired over a long career. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like villains. With all these bad-to-the-bone heroes, how could my dream team not be the best? [Katie Matthews]

My superhero team would not consist of any actual superheroes because those people always manage to destroy half of a city before actually doing anything. So, to start off, Beyoncé would obviously lead the team because she’s the queen of the universe and to be honest if she doesn’t decimate whatever villain is threatening the world, then this world is doomed. Continuing on to the lesser human beings, I would have Jack Bauer. The world’s number one terrorism-fighter would help if my superhero team ever got into some morally questionable situations because we all know Jack isn’t afraid to make the tough decisions. Lastly, I would have Daenerys Targaryen because dragons. [Kelsey Kinzer]

Clearly, Harrison Ford is number one on my list. He is Han Solo, Indiana Jones, and so many more amazing and tough characters. He could probably stun some unsuspecting villain with his scruffy good looks. Second, I would have to have Kim Possible. She rocks. That’s all that needs to be said. Last, but not least, I would have to have Snow White from Once Upon A Time. She is just flat out awesome. She seems like a sweet, adorable little princess, but she is as tough as nails and is not afraid of taking risks. [Zoey Line]

First on my team, terrifying as it is, would have to be Moriarty. The man with the key is king; imagine having a consulting criminal, someone so manipulative that he can open absolutely any door, on your side. That being said, he is definitely smart enough to be a double agent, which is where my next member comes in. Hermione Granger can give him the proper dose of Veritaserum when he’s around the team and withhold dosage around enemies一without Moriarty ever suspecting. Plus, Hermione has an obvious advantage where magic is concerned. Of course no dream team, especially one based mainly on intellect, would be complete without the likes of Sherlock Holmes. His main problem, however, is his incredible lack of respect for “idiots” (which to him is everyone but himself). For that, Moriarty would keep him in check, while I always have the upper hand with Veritaserum. [Allie Gruszkiewicz]

After getting over the extreme excitement of being able to assemble my own super team, I think I would choose Yoda, Percy Jackson, and Sherlock. Yoda is definitely a no-brainer. He’s wiser than all the other Jedi Masters put together and can wield a lightsaber like nobody’s business. And of course, his ability to send giant metal chunks of building flying across the room using the force would come in handy too. Percy Jackson, from Rick Riordan’s The Lightning Thief, would bring that sarcastic touch that every superhero team needs (see Iron Man for proof), along with awesome ocean powers and his incredible pen/sword, Riptide. As for Sherlock, he would probably point out precisely 43 reasons why what the team was doing was illogical and impractical, but his unparalleled deductive reasoning skills would more than make up for his cynicism. To finish this up, I’m not sure if this is allowed, but I think they should all be able to ride Nimbus 2000s as well…or Firebolts. They are way too awesome to be riding Cleansweep 7s. [Madison Chan]

Green Arrow, Dwight Schrute, Wonder Woman, Nightwing, Mr. Darcy, Hawkeye, Captain America, Black Widow, and Batman. Basically the whole Justice League. I guess Wyeth and I will have to share. [Taylor A. Johnson]

First on my team would be Batman. Not an original choice, but with all his money, he could supply our team with anything we need. Second on my dream team is none other than Dwight Schrute from The Office. In addition to his fantastic karate skills, Dwight owns hundreds (maybe thousands) of weapons, which would greatly improve our talents. Last but not least on the dream team is Aquaman, the most underrated superhero of all time. Come on, this guy is a legend. He can breathe underwater and talk to fish. What more could you want? [Wyeth Wilson]

First off, I must start with one of the least talked about superheros named the Flash. It’s pretty simple to see what the “scarlet speedster” is capable of accomplishing with his super speed and unearthly reflexes. Just think about it, he literally could run circles around the competition and they probably would not know it even happened. Second, the darkhorse that is Andy Bernard. He may be slightly unstable, but it is evident that he has super strength. He put a hole in the wall, I mean that wall had no idea what was coming for it. Also, he has superb vocals that can motivate the team even in the worst of times. Lastly, it would have to be the character portrayed by Patrick Swayze in the mini-series North and South. Orry Main is a skilled horsemen, strategic mastermind, and also an experienced fighter on many frontiers; however, his main attribute (no pun intended) is obviously the hair flow. With speed, strength, and mental capacity, there will be no stopping this trio. [Tyler Hotz]

My superhero team would be a selection of some extremely talented and brave people. The first would be Milo, a hip hop artist who has extremely deep and blunt lyrics about life, whatever emotions he experiences, etc. Milo would come in handy for analyzing a situation and developing the best solution based off of his honest mistakes or previous past experiences. The second part of the superhero trio would be William Tackett, a BHS student and one of my close friends. He is one of the most informed and one of the best defenders I know. William could demolish someone who’s making ignorant or offensive comments from a mile away. The last superhero would be Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls because, while underestimated, she is a strong and determined individual with rockin’ super powers who gives forth great effort to save the mayor and help her sisters frequently. Bubbles also brings levity and joy to any situation, fully living up to her name. [Zoe Evans]

My superhero team would consist of Childish Gambino (Donald Glover), David Beckham, and Nicki Minaj. Childish Gambino can do almost anything. He’s a rapper, producer, actor, and comedian who would bring creativity to the group. David Beckham is an amazing athlete and would bring the necessary physical skill/strength. Nicki Minaj is one of the strongest women in the world. She is an incredibly talented rapper and she is also smart. She would bring a good energy and smarts to the group. [Caroline Rogers]

Black Mamba from Kill Bill, Bruce Lee, and The Punisher. These three people have a lust for vengeance unrestrained by a moral compass, so they lack the weakness of Superman or Batman, who both constantly struggle to achieve their ambitions as a result of their refusal to kill. My superhero team would actually accomplish the goals they intend, which is to kill those who have wronged them in the past, and ultimately balance the evil in the world. The villains in Batman or Superman never receive exactly what they deserve, the punishments they receive are not proportionate to the suffering they cause. My superhero team intends to deliver punishment in proportion to the suffering caused by the crime; they are the true equalizers of the world. The villains they defeat would not have the opportunity to commit more heinous acts against people. [Helen Law]

Okay, so I’m thinking Wonder Woman is an obvious pick for a superhero team. She is easily the most iconic female superhero. She’s a true icon meant to inspire women to stand up strong, and let’s be honest, she kicks butt. I wanted to stick a Jedi in here somewhere, but the only person who came to mind was Leia, and for whatever reason, Leia, despite also being the daughter of a Jedi, didn’t receive the same training as Luke. I’m not bitter. Regardless, I want her on my team. Not only is she a super powerful galactic senator, she is also a leader in the Rebel Alliance. She choked a crime lord to death and remained defiant after Vader destroyed her planet and tortured her for information. And okay, I know Katniss Everdeen is super annoying with her boy drama, but that girl can shoot. Not to mention that she’s survived two 24-person fights to the death, one of which was actually designed to kill her specifically. I would definitely trust this team to defend the universe. [Cameron Scott]