STEIMER: Stay away from Triple Steak

Jacob Steimer

Taco Bell is well known for being awesome. Forget the health factor; where else can you fill up on Mexican food for two dollars? This summer I went to the Taco Bell in the West Town Mall food court for my usual filling of delicious Mexican. But for the first time in my life, Taco Bell failed me. Now, we men are known to love steak. Taco Bell’s “I’m not really a steak guy anymore” commercial played on this fundamental part of a man’s being. “We are all triple steak guys, in here,” it said. Now, I consider myself a pretty manly guy, so of course I wanted to try Taco Bell’s new Triple Steak Burrito. Don’t make the same mistake. In the commercial, slices of steak are bursting from the burrito. In reality, the burrito holds bits of meat soaked in a nasty, greasy sauce. It’s no secret that TB favors the ancient “grease makes it better” technique, but this is surprisingly revolting with steak sauce. Also, men want to able to chew on their steak, and it impossible to chew something in bit form. I personally consider the Triple Steak Burrito the worst gaffe that Taco Bell has ever made, surpassing its former attempt a Baja Shrimp Taco. It is a shame too, as it is following some great ideas like the Two Dollar Meal Deal, the Five Buck Box, and the Twenty Taco Pack. Now, this article does not mean that I will stop frequenting Taco Bell. What I hope it does mean is that anyone who reads this will never make the mistake of ordering a Triple “Steak” Burrito. Stick with the classic Five Layer Burrito, the thrifty Two Dollar Meal Deal, or the glorious Five Buck Box. Keep thinking outside the bun, Bearden High School.